Wow Nicki. I had no idea. This is an amazing testimony. I’m positive you did make a difference in Mike’s life. He knew that someone, somewhere loved him enough to fight for him.
I look forward to hearing more about this journey.
adoption
Our Path to Adoption
It all began right around Father’s Day last year. We must have been “speaking out of turn” like we often had over the last few years about the size of our family. We often said things like, “we love our little family of 3….” or “yes, he’s an only child, and we are content that way.” Well, it was God’s turn to speak as Chad and I were having a chilled-out conversation about parenting over lunch. During the course of that conversation, the first seeds of desire were planted in our hearts to grow our family. I mean God blind-sided us with this one…things started coming out of our mouths, and we were like, “uh, where did that come from?!” The truth is we know exactly where these desires came from because God had planted them in our hearts a decade ago. And now, he was tilling up the soil of our life and unearthing what had lain dormant in our hearts all that time. Let me take you back to 1996.We had been married for 2 years and were both teaching/ coaching at a Christian school in Monroe, Louisiana. We were young, new believers, and we believed we could change the world, ’specially for teenagers. We loved them. We spent every waking moment ministering at that school, in the classrooms, the gym, the ball-fields, the youth nights. One day, Chad was on the phone networking with different baseball contacts he had made during his stint in pro ball, when got in touch with another coach he knew in Ohio. This coach told Chad that he had a kid up there who really needed a “second chance.” Next thing we knew, Mike Cochran, a 16-year-old bi-racial kid whose dad was in prison for murder and whose mom was cracked-out, was sitting next to me on our sofa in our little rent house. OK….picture this….here we are, from our little white-bread lives, listening as Mike recounts for us all he has been through and why he is here….he was using street terminology that was like a foreign language to me!?! I tried to be “cool” and keep my bottom jaw off the ground as he told the tale of his tumultuous life.
Mike in his favorite chair at our house.
The crazy thing was, that there was an instant connection among the 3 of us. We loved that kid with our whole hearts from that moment. I can’t explain it. It was a total God thing. We pumped him up and told him how awesome it was that he wanted to turn his life around and that with God anything was possible. And God continued to “show-off” that whole year……Mike fit in with everyone at school, He played 3rd base for Chad, won the state-championship in the long-jump, did well in the classroom and went to prom with little Katie Carter, (which was hilarious since she was the biggest goody-two-shoes at school)! And on top of all that, he was getting some recruiting interest from colleges for football! He was getting full of the gospel from school chapel services to Sundays at church to chats at home. One Wednesday during a chapel service he came to the altar and wept to accept Christ’s salvation and redemption!
Mike & Chad
He was dreaming again. We were dreaming for him! Then, the school year wound down. We wanted Mike to stay with us for that summer between his junior and senior years. We did not think it was a good idea for him to go back to Ohio and we told him so. He was not strong or steady enough to go back to that old environment. He had made a clean break, a fresh start. But, he was missing “home.” His grandmother and auntie flew him back to Ohio. We prayed that he would be o.k., that he would stay clean and out of trouble. But, our worst fears became reality when he was immersed back in the only life he had ever known. By the time he came back to us in the fall, it was obvious that the enemy had sunken his claws deep into him and did not want to let go this time….the smile that had lit up the whole house the year before was gone….he was depressed and had a bad attitude about school….he did not care about football which had been his passion. We were grieved, torn, and young with no idea what to do. After only 3 short weeks, Mike was on a plane back to Ohio. He had given up. The enemy had blinded him to the “plans God had for Him, plans for a future and a hope.” (Jer. 29:11)
Two months later, Mike went on a cocaine binge and hung himself in the hallway of his grandmother’s home. That is not how the story was supposed to end. The pain we felt was intense. We cried out to God for answers. We wondered and grieved over what we could have done differently….if your life has even been touched by suicide, you know this is such a struggle. We flew to Ohio to “say goodbye” and to see for ourselves what his life there had been like. Before the funeral home opened and anyone else was allowed in, his father was escorted from prison in shackles to see his son one last time before he was buried. I can’t help but think about the irony of that since Mike had been “shackled” by his family’s mistakes and “imprisoned” by their past. Could Jesus have set him free from that life for good? Of course He could have, but how many times do we voluntarily go back to our “cells?” Jesus gives us the keys and unlocks the bars, but we don’t walk out. He leads us toward the promised land, but we go back to Egypt. It’s all we’ve known. We are set free, but we don’t know how to live free.
The house in Ohio where Mike grew up and ended his life.
As our hearts healed in weeks and months after, that’s when God planted adoption in our hearts. We talked many times about how we wish we could have “rescued” Mike out of that life when he was a baby or a little boy. How things could have been so different. We began to dream about one day doing that for another child….another innocent one born into a life they didn’t ask for or deserve. A couple of years later Griffith was born, and we’ve been head-over-heels ever since. Adopting a foster child was not an option for us when he was little bitty….we wanted him to be mature enough to understand. So, we basically put that desire on the back-burner of our hearts, where God apparently kept the fire at a simmer until now! 
Fast-forward back to the present. Last year, when we began talking about expanding our family, within a week God had spoken so clearly to Chad and me individually. We knew He was calling us to adopt! Now, here’s the crazy kicker…..He gave us the vision….I mean both of us separately… of an Asian baby GIRL!?! We began praying and asking questions and attended a His Heart for Orphans workshop to figure out where to start. For a year we prayed. God even gave us her name….Lillie. However, doors kept slamming….from countries changing their adoption rules to financial roadblocks. We never felt Him leading us to proceed. We were confused. Then God started bringing the foster program and kids to our attention…..online and on TV and in the grocery store….everywhere we turned! It was His whole “m.o.” of shutting doors and opening other ones….you know the drill. We began pursuing that original desire to adopt a foster child…the desire that was birthed out of a tragic loss.
Now, to be clear, we are still convinced, beyond a doubt, that Lillie will be part of our family one day too. What isn’t quite so clear is why he chose to give us the vision of her “out of order,” so to speak. But, God is God, and we are not. His ways are “higher than our ways,” So though we can’t wrap our little pea brains around why He does things when and how He does, we TRUST Him.
(See “updates” page for the most current happenin’s in the Olinde’s Operation Adoption.)
Responses
By: Amy Grant on July 28, 2007
at 10:43 pm
Wow!! How honored I feel to have you in my “path”. This is such an awesome testimony, and yet another way that God has shown me that I am where I need to be. I am so exiceted for your journey to come and I am glad I will be around for all the updates.
I will continue to pray for your “new” child. I can only imagine what an awesome life this child will have along with Griff.
By: Adela on July 29, 2007
at 2:25 pm
Awesome! to know there are such loving people like you to love like you loved Mike and allowed him to see Jesus in you, if even for a short time. The seed you implanted in him was not in vain. You come out of you comfort zone and loved him even though his life ended so tragically. May the Lord continue to bless you with more of His Favor in every area of your lives.
By: Gloria on July 29, 2007
at 4:58 pm
It is amazing what people you see at church all the time have been through. You and your husband’s story is one that gives me hope, however makes me sad for more than one reason. My husband and I have been raising our two great nephews for 5 years now. Thier parents were both mixed up in a whole lot of no good. My mom and sisters think the boys, despite court no visitation ruling, should see their mom. I never feel peace about it. I guess I am too scared they might revert into what they were before. The main reason we have them is because their mom didn’t want them and their father molested them, and most of all we didn’t want to see them end up in a life like their parent’s had lived. I will pray for your precious Lillie. I know she is out there somewhere, and I can’t wait to see her!
By: Amanda on July 31, 2007
at 8:54 pm
I have tracked you down!! I can’t believe it. I have been looking for you and Coach since we started planning the CCS reunion. I will always remember Mike smiling. I also remember he was the only one, besides me, that loved Pepsi. It’s so sad that things ended the way they did. I know he would have done great things with his life. God bless you and Coach. Your son is so cute!
By: Beth Mardis on August 1, 2007
at 11:24 pm
Hey Mrs Olinde! I think you and Mike are wonderful loveing people!! I will always remember Mikes smile to! He was an awsome person! I am still saddend by what happened to him. But I have always believed yall made a big difference in his life. He knew how much yall cared! God has definitely blessed your lives. (Your son is quite handsome!)
By: Bridget Wright on August 1, 2007
at 11:34 pm
I had never read this story! I am crying. It reminds me of so much.
I also didn’ know you were a photographer! Beautiful stuff.
By: carole on September 15, 2007
at 3:27 pm
